Project: Stormtrooper

This is it. My first adventure with you starts with this thing. It doesn't arrive like a regular motorcycle... You know, on WHEELS. It comes in a box. And you put it together like a big steel and plastic jigsaw puzzle. Don't worry, most of the heavy lifting has already been done for you. You'll have to install lights, mirrors, controls, the dashboard, and probably adjust the front and/or rear shocks. But wait, there's more! Because this motorcycle was built so cheaply, sometimes mistakes are often made. You need to go over everything on this motorcycle with a fine toothed comb. Check every weld. Change the oil. Grease every bearing and, in some cases, drill and tap to install zerk fittings so you won't have to disassemble anything for future greasings. You'll remove almost every single nut and bolt just so you can apply threadlocker and put it back on because these bikes have a habit of rattling things loose at inconvenient times. This is cheap insurance. Remember, this is your meat sack we're talking about, so you want to ensure it's on a safe (ish) piece of equipment.

And the fun continues after you've done all of that. Due to import and EPA restrictions, this bike comes to you with much of the life choked out of it. So you'll want to install a better carburetor that allows the engine to breathe IN better. Now that it can breathe in so much better, you'll want to install an aftermarket exhaust so it can breathe OUT, too! You'll probably also want a new CDI box and coil to provide better spark and rev management for the engine, which means you'll need a better spark plug. And if you ever want to take it on public roads then you'll want different gearing which means new sprockets! You'll be vibrating pretty good as you eek it up to 55mph, so different sprockets will help you get highway speed out of it. Not that I'd ever ride it on the highway. I'm not stupid! This speedometer is historically inaccurate, so you'll upgrade that, too. Installing an LED headlight is also a worthwhile venture so you can see and be seen. Grippy foot pegs are nice if you're going off road, so your feet don't slip off. And if the dirt is your destination ten you'll want a couple of spare inner tubes and the tools to change them. The factory inner tubes are pathetically thin and weak. Dirt roads typically mean slower speeds, so you'll want an oil cooler and filter to keep things running cool and gunk-free.

Still interested? You're at $1399 for the bike and roughly $400 more to make it decent, more powerful, and much more reliable and ridable. All in all, it's not a huge investment. If you don't have the bread to buy it all outright, Amazon has a payment plant and you can get all that crud for under $100 per month. You could sling DoorDash 2 days per month and come up with that!